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The Mountain
Our Walk by Faith Part Three Down by the riverbank of the Skykomish River on a warm, sunny day the summer of 2003, Barry and I paused, looked up at the sky and marveled. Myriads of cottonwood seeds were wafting through the air and cascading through the lush green trees that towered over us. They were carried on the whim of a gentle breeze and brushed against our cheeks. This was the same amazing sight we had experienced the year before. We happily made our way through the dense underbrush along an almost hidden path to our favorite grassy slope that overlooked the river. Moments later I sat in silence by Barry’s side and gratefully listened to the soothing sounds of the Skykomish as it rushed ever forward and rippled over the rock beds below. In this peaceful place I quietly drank in the panoramic beauty of the cloudless, blue sky and the reassuring sounds of the river. Then I recalled a message that had been sent to us that morning… “Just as happened a year ago, when you saw the cottonwood seeds floating through the air in abundance, the Lord is reminding you that with the same abundance His provision will come to you for your return to Uganda once again.” I reflected on this penetrating word of encouragement for several moments. Then my thoughts turned back to Noah whose life had given me such courage ever since 2000 when we began our walk of extreme trust in the Lord alone. The longer we lived this life of radical faith, the more insights I gleaned from his life. Now two years later I again passionately identified with him building an ark in a place where there was no body of water and never any rain. People couldn’t understand him. What God had asked him to do made no sense at all. As I sat on the grassy knoll that overlooked the river, I felt like we were in that same place. Once again we had trusted God for a long time for the funds to return to Africa. We were adrift on a vast sea of difficult circumstances. The fulfillment of the hopes on which we had anchored our faith seemed far away. No matter how often we scanned the horizon, there was no indication that what we were believing for was even remotely close to happening. If Noah had leaned on what he could see with his own eyes, he would have despaired of ever stepping on dry ground again. All he had was his faith to cling to and that is all Barry and I had as well. Whenever any of us trust God and we are out on that sea of seemingly endless waiting, where the fulfillment of His promises is disconcertingly silent, we are confronted with these same struggles…
The mind shouts, “Nothing is happening and it isn’t going to happen!” In this disconcerting place, the muscle of our faith is developed in ways that can’t occur any other way. Only through dealing with the oftentimes troubling silence concerning what God has promised us do we enter into the endurance that the Apostle Paul speaks about in these verses…
“We can rejoice when we run into problems and trials There is no easy way to learn this steadfastness. It is formed in us during the times when there is suffering that lasts awhile and we must choose to not give up. And this strength of character can only become a part of our very soul when those difficult places push us far beyond where we’ve ever gone before. During these trying times, we grow more keenly aware that apart from God’s merciful intervention, we will surely fail. An ache can also settle in our soul because what we were hoping for still hasn’t happened. And it doesn’t look like it is any closer than when we first began to believe for it. The stakes are high in the midst of this extremely difficult silence. Either we hold on to the Lord and His Word with everything within us, or we give into panic and watch our faith disastrously unravel. Yet if we persevere, the place that we walk into inspires our spirit with awe. In that place of overcoming…
We are free to rise up above the storms of life like an eagle. The loud whistle of a nearby train jolted my thoughts back to where I was sitting on the steep embankment. At that moment I made a fascinating discovery. When I had my sunglasses on, I could see thousands upon thousands of cottonwood seeds floating through the sky. But as soon as I removed my glasses, I could only see a few of the seeds. Then the Lord spoke to My heart…
“This is what happens when you trust Me. My thoughts now returned to Noah and this astounding insight into his life that had become for me a thread of comfort and courage for years now. For I recalled once again, after Noah had been in the ark almost twelve and a half months with nothing tangible to encourage him that land was any closer than the day he embarked on his huge vessel…
“God remembered Noah.” All over again, this compelling Scripture resonated in my spirit as a profoundly encouraging glimpse into the heart of the Father toward those who keep trusting Him. This snapshot into the character of God always stirs in my soul a comforting, life-giving hope, even as it brings me to tears. For just as God remembered Noah, somehow once again I was certain He would remember us. He would bring our ship of faith safely into harbor. He wouldn’t abandon us or forget us, no matter how much our emotions fight to convince us that is exactly what is happening. The early afternoon sun showered Barry and me with its warmth while I now looked wistfully out across the river. Underneath the surface of the fast moving Skykomish, determined salmon swam upstream to their spawning grounds. Always I have marveled at these courageous fish. They are willing to fight against powerful river currents, press persistently through perilous obstacles and leap up steep waterfalls that hurl them against jagged rocks. They keep on going against seemingly insurmountable odds so that they can find their way back to where they were born. They would rather die, and many do, rather than abandon their destiny to return to the place where life began for them. To walk by faith is like this determined journey of the salmon. We must go upstream in ways that defy human reasoning. We have to persevere through seemingly invincible obstacles with the same unwavering courage and tenacity of this amazing fish. This requires of us that we so wholeheartedly commit to the purposes of God, we are willing to die to anything that could hinder us pursuing them. This death process is very real to Barry and me. We had laid down many things that were once supremely important to us. Precious, life-long dreams, fond hopes, once passionately pursued plans and all attachments to financial treasures and goals. All of these had to die in the Valley of Our Faith. But when we let them die, we entered into a greater brokenness in the presence of our God. Only then could He trust us to carry His glory to the nations and use us to help others enter into that same intimacy with the Father. Consequently, to the extent that Barry and I surrendered all that was once dear to us, the more we experienced God’s presence on whatever we did for Him. We were often speechless as we witnessed the Father sovereignly pouring out more and more of His miracles. The insistent chirps of birds overhead interrupted my thoughts. I glanced up at the sky and watched the playful swallows dart in and out of the trees as I listened to the leaves rustling in the wind. Nearby a low hanging branch bobbed up and down on the surface of the water. It gently kissed the river as it rushed by and sprayed its leaves with white foam. Without me realizing it, a steady stream of tears had wet my cheeks. They welled up from our deep longing to return to our beloved Ugandans who seemed further and further away from us. But no matter how disheartened we felt at times, that day down by the banks of a river God renewed His grace in us so that we could keep trusting Him, the Lord of the Impossible (Luke 1:37 NASB). As a result, we continued to run to the Father for refuge in the moments of our desperation. And in that “shelter of the Most High under the shadow of the Almighty” we found renewed courage. As we did, over and over I was reminded of this unshakeable truth…
“We can hold on to His promise with confidence. We also received strength from considering that since we didn’t try to make anything happen by sending out pleas for money, the fact that we were still able to live totally by faith had to be God. For day by day, each of our needs being met was still a miracle. The Father’s provision continued to be a sovereign demonstration of His kind love toward us. Therefore, we often encouraged each other… “Our God will not let us end up in a ditch!” During the hard times, this thought spurred us on to keep pressing forward. He would somehow once again fulfill this promise He had given to us in the past when we seriously needed the Father’s encouragement…
“I will make a dry path through your Red Sea.” By now, the afternoon sun was hidden behind the trees. Our time down by the riverbank came to an end. When we returned home, we continued to wait. We prayed. We worshipped. We honored what the Father told us to do and we didn’t fundraise. It was settled for us both that we would rather fail, than betray His instruction to trust Him with all our hearts and wait for His provision miracles. This was a holy covenant that we had made with a holy God concerning being still and letting Him move on our behalf, rather than taking things into our own hands and attempting to make something happen for our needs. Yet even in the midst of the extremely difficult silence, while we waited for provision to come, there was still a sacred peace in our spirits. It was rooted in these unchanging truths…
“There is no one like the God of Israel.
“Therefore because the Sovereign Lord helps us, we will not be dismayed. As we continued to walk by faith for our mounting needs, the anticipation of Abba Father’s merciful intervention was the only solace for our souls. Often we felt physically and emotionally depleted, even as we had a deep, abiding peace. The weariness came from the inseparable partnership between endurance, and being determined to keep trusting the Father, no matter what. While this extremely hard season in our lives persisted, I could more clearly understand why the disciples reacted the way they did when a “fierce storm arose and high waves began to break into their boat until it was nearly full of water” (Mark 4:37 NLT). They could only see that Jesus was sleeping and it felt like they were going to sink. For us as well, when the winds buffeted us and God was silent, there were moments when it seemed like we were going to sink. And because of the stormy swells of water, we were going to drown. Because of the silence from the only One we had our faith in, at times our hearts felt like He had abandoned us. Yet, in our spirit we knew He never would forsake us because He is true to this promise…
“I will never desert you.” The months passed by. Many a night the ache in my heart awakened me. I could feel the pain in Barry’s heart as well. All I could say during those wearying moments was…
“Please give us courage, Father, to keep on trusting You. In response to that plea, our kind Papa God ministered back to me what He faithfully says to all His sons and daughters when life seems overwhelmingly too hard for us…
“I rebuked the wind and I commanded the water to be still for the disciples. As I held these comforting words close to my heart, I often prayed…
“Oh God, just as You remembered Noah, please, once again, remember us.
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